Knock you down
by WingShield
Summary: Never did Raine Kenward think she would as much as look at one of the strange guys behind the pranksters James and Sirius. Neither did she think he could be someone she actually liked, but sometimes even the strangest person knows how to knock you down.
1. Prologue: Thinking of you

**Hi there everyone! I'm up with one more story, this time a Harry Potter fanfic. That means that I don't own anything more than my own characters that me, myself have been making up. The rest of course all belongs to J.K. Rowling!**

**This is only a short prologue of this story, I will upload the first chapter too at the same time, so please, leave me your thoughts about this! I think I'll be trying to update once every week but don't hate me if I fail to hold my promise sometimes!**

**Prologue – **_**Thinking of you **_

Life was absolutely perfect. Not for everyone of course, but for me and my girls. The common nickname we all shared together was 'rich bitch witch'. It did not really matter any longer, being called that. After all these years it was more like flattery than an insult. And above of all, it was the truth. I liked the truth, it was hard but honest. Something I used in many situations.

After only one week of the first semester of my seventh year at Hogwarts the worst thing that I could ever imagine happened to me. You see, I never even asked to fall for him, not even for us to accidentally be introduced to each other. He is definitely not my type, and even if I am his, he would never have been able to get me if life would have been what it should have been.

But something strange must have happened to me. He has way too many faults, yet still I cannot keep myself away from him anymore, and it is so hard for me to face this fact. I mean, what would my friends ever say if I told them the truth? That it was real, not just me playing with a poor and a bit geeky guy who could not be considered enough good looking to match me. They would not even believe me if I told them that he was smarter than all of them together, even though he is not even a Ravenclaw like us.

I wish that I could be just as brave and honest as you were when you came up to me day after day, trying to just be nice. Even though I turned you down with no mercy at all every single time, you could still stand up for yourself when everybody laughed at you. No one, not even me, myself could ever figure out who you thought you were, asking one of the most popular girls at Hogwarts for some attention when the only thing she did in return was hurting you. I waited every day for that single moment when you finally had had enough, but it never came. _It obviously never came._ But I guess that is why I, Your Royal Highness Raine Kenward, cannot resist you, simple and a bit scruffy Remus Lupin. Because I deeply envy you for the fantastic, earnest and kind human being you are, and because you were the first person who taught me to befriend and love someone for real, whether it was by purpose or not.


	2. Ch 1: Too tough to make some friends

**This is chapter 1, if it wasn't already obvious! Please, please leave reviews with thoughts on this. Don't be afraid to tell me exactly what you think, I can take both positive and negative criticism ;D**

**I want to make an apology for any spell or grammar failures, I'm only human and not even a native English speaker(or writer either), so I hope it's not too disturbing for you!**

**Chapter 1. – **_**Too tough to make some friends**_

"How many times do we have to tell you to get you to understand? She doesn't like you!"

"Leave her alone!"

I had tried to tell Henry myself, probably in a nicer way than what Vicki and Sam did right now, but he had not got the message. Or what did I know about that? I had never been turned down by myself, never even considered thinking about how I treated people at all and was not planning on doing it. I had never actually been in a relationship, and never been in love with someone either. There was just no one good enough for me here, and that had not changed during the last six years. From the beginning, I thought that maybe a miracle would happen one day, and then I reminded myself that I did not believe in such things. But as we walked down to the door to get out of the Great Hall, the miracle happened. Valerie was talking to me, about her boyfriend since two years back in time, Matt, but that was something that always bored me out completely. I had heard everything about every part of him and about anything they had ever done, and not just once, so I did not really listen to what she said. I only looked at her politely, as if I was interested in every single word that came out of her mouth. Just because I was occupied with that I did not realize that a group of guys came the other way, not focusing on us either until it was too late. I bumped into one of them and that surely was never okay, no matter who he or she was.

"Hey! Watch where you're going! Do you think you own the whole passageway or what?", I said with an irritated tone and eyed him from head to toe and then took a step away from him in almost disgust so that I would never have to touch him again. He was the tall, thin and shabby friend of James and Sirius; I could not even remember his name.

"Sorry", he said and held up his hands, but did not look or sound as if he was the tiniest bit sorry at all. I gave him an icy glare and made a detour around them on my way to the door.

"God, did you see his face?", Valerie asked as she, Vicki, Gabbie and Sam had caught up with me again and looked at us with big eyes.

"So it's true then; Raine is a bitch!", I heard James say loudly behind us.

"I got an idea", Sirius answered slyly, but I could not hear what the idea was though we passed out through the door at that moment.

"Yes Val, we saw his face, but did _you_ see his robe?", Vicki said in a snobbish voice.

"Do you think he's a criminal?", Gabbie asked and looked frightened.

"Oh please! Just because he has a couple of scars and his clothes are a bit ragged it doesn't necessary have to mean he is a criminal!", I said, already tired of the subject. "He's just a loser who doesn't care about how he looks."

"But he's hanging out with two of Hogwarts biggest rule breakers of all time! Maybe he's the one who taught them everything they know and now he's able to just lay back and watch them bring all his crazy ideas to life", Sam continued, not giving up the theory the other three made up. But I could see the smile playing on her lips, she was only joking with the other girls' worries.

"Well, then go back and ask him about it", I challenged them. "Then you can snuggle a bit with Sirius again, Vicki. The two of you seemed to have a good time yesterday."

"How-… Are you some kind of spy or what?", she asked angrily, and tried to hide her blushing cheeks with her light brown hair.

"Well, you weren't exactly hard to miss when you ran away together to Moaning Myrtle's bathroom", Sam said teasingly. "'Cause that's where you were going right? It's the only place were you're only by yourselves. Or well, _almost_."

"Oh, shut up, Sam", Vicki said sourly and we all laughed at her.

We went to the third floor to wait for Professor Flitwick, but when we arrived outside the classroom someone, probably the Professor himself, had put up a small note far down on the big door that said we would have to change classroom temporarily. Vicki let out a big sigh; she never had patience with situations like this, even though we only had to walk up to the next floor. I shook my head at her and we began to walk to the stairs.

When we came up to the fourth floor and walked the short corridor to the right classroom. The door was open so we walked right in. I made a quick look around to find a place where we could sit down and made a sudden slide stop so that Gabbie and Val collided into me.

"Raine!", they moaned together but then they discovered the same terrible fact that had made me want to turn around and skip this class. The Gryffindors were obviously going to share this class with us today, and that would definitely not bother me if it was not for the fact that the only remaining places were those right in front of _them_.

"Welcome ladies, I'm glad you found your way here", Professor Flitwick said with his small voice and smiled warmly at us. "As you can see everyone, our friends from Gryffindor will join us today, though I have an important meeting later on this afternoon, I hope you don't mind."

"Why would we ever mind", I muttered and marched forward to take my seat without giving anyone a single glance. Val and Vicki did not even get the time to sit down next to me before they started talking silly rubbish in the row behind us.

"You know Moony, she's ignoring you like that 'cause she's been thinking about you since she bumped into you by purpose earlier."

"That's girls' strategy, my friend. And her yelling is also a part of the plan which she's been working on the whole summer!"

Seriously? Why did they even bother giving him this ridiculous pep talk? Had he never been with a girl before or what? Was his self-confidence really that bad? Well, trying to convince him that_ I_ liked him, even just the slightest, would not help him improve it at all. And what is up with the geeky nickname? I mean, 'Moony'? Oh god.

"Hey Raine", James said and I slowly turned around with an expression that clearly told him I was not interested in whatever he had on his mind. "You wanna go out with him?"

He pointed at the moon-guy, who I quickly judged without any bigger effort put in it.

"He's not able to ask me himself?", I asked and looked back and forth between them.

"Of course he can, I just wanted to hurry things up. He wouldn't have been so hasty about it, he wants to do everything perfect you see", James said and winked at his friend a few seats away, who did not know what to say or do it looked like. I rolled my eyes.

"Hey James? Between you and me…", I said and leaned forward and threw my hair over one shoulder in a sensual gesture. I could feel the eyes of all four of them looking straight at me, just as I wanted for my grand finale.

"Er… Yes?"

"I don't date nerds. Especially not scruffy nerds like _him_.", I said and pointed at the moon-guy.

"Ouch", Sirius said, patting his friends shoulder.

"I mean, I don't even know his name", I continued, leaning back to my original position again. "But wait, don't say it. I forgot I don't care what his name is!"

With those words spoken, I turned around and gave Professor Flitwick my full attention. My work was done, the quartet behind did not bother me or anyone else of my friends anymore. Well, apart from Vicki though, but I could not really say that she was _bothered_ by the attention she got from her latest cutie pie, Sirius. I was not too disturbed by her constant giggling, but of what would come next. In a few days, maybe even a week if he treated her well, she would turn into a complete bitch to everyone. Even to him, and even to us. That would scare him away, and then the circus would repeat itself a few weeks later with a new guy. It was almost as a game for her, but it would be very interesting to see how she handled Sirius. I bet he probably is a harder nut to crack.

* * *

I really thought nothing could top what had happened yesterday, but when someone put their hand on my shoulder at lunch I was told that the opposite was coming. I turned my head around and looked up behind me, and yes, there he was. Luckily, this time by himself.

"Hi Raine. I never got the chance to introduce myself yesterday, though you, after six years, aren't able to remember my name", he said with his soft, warm voice and held out his hand. "I'm Remus Lupin."

"Like I care", I said, and without taking his hand I turned my head forward again. Take the hint, _Remus._

"Well, you should care", he continued anyway, still sounding calm as if I had not been rude at all.

"Why would I?", I asked and exchanged irritated glances with my friends. Why did he not give up?

"Because I know we would turn out to be great friends, you and I."

"You want to be _friends_ with me?" I turned around again and looked at him with raised eyebrows.

"Yes."

"You already have friends! Remember them? Over there", I said and pointed in the direction where I could see them hide behind some other people, desperately trying to spy on us without getting caught. Not trying enough, with other words.

"You could never get too many friends, you know", Remus said and I returned my attention to him. He gave me a small, but friendly smile and it surprisingly caught me off guard and I had to swallow the bitchy answer I had made up for him. I was not able to remember what I wanted to say and could not come up with anything else either. I just looked up at him with my mouth trying to form words, but nothing came out. After a few seconds I realized that I must look like a breathing fish and closed it quickly.

"I'll take that as if we have an agreement then", he said and turned around and walked back to his friends. I stared at him, not really believing what had just happened.

"I'm not entirely sure if you lost or won that one, and if you lost, I don't know what he won either", Valerie said and my confusedness turned into irritation.

"You know what, Valerie? Maybe I've switched tactics."

"Or maybe, you thought it would be nice to have a friend who wasn't a girl for once", Gabbie suggested.

"Yeah, I've got a lot of them", Sam continued enthusiastically. "Mostly from the Quidditch-team, but they're really nice all of them."

"I _don't_ want to be his friend", I muttered a bit harshly. "I don't want anything to do with him."

"That's fully understandable", Vicki said and I gave her a thankful glance. Sometimes she really was a saviour for me, especially when it came to boy problems. The two of us were in the same boat so to speak, with lots of admirers but none who actually ever was perfect enough to fit into the empty spaces next to us that had an invisible sign that said "_Reserved for Prince Charming_". Nothing bad about the other three, but Val had Matt since god knows when; it was almost as if they were already married. Sam was our little tomboy, so she made friends out of every guy instead and Gabbie was kind of our little geek who did not get as much attention as the rest of us. Everyone had their own specific role in our little group, and getting a male friend was not one of my missions. It would destroy the balance of nature, or at least, the balance between us.


	3. Ch 2: Wait a minute

**I realized there maybe was a little too short to just upload the tiny prologue and the first never so great chapter, so I'll give you chapter two too. I'm actually very pleased with this one, so I hope you'll like it too. :)**

**Please give me some reviews about it, even if it's the worst thing you've ever wasted your time reading, then tell me that! I need to know! :)**

**Chapter 2. – _Wait a minute_**

A good night's sleep seemed to have helped me back on the right track again. The day after my disastrous sudden doubt of who I really was I was fully determined that it would never happen again. The whole day went on perfectly, _just perfectly_, until lunch time. When we walked into the Great Hall, I was a bit nervous. That of course, made me a bit irritated. Why on earth would I be nervous? There was no reason for it, but still I could not help myself from going through a few different scenarios that might happen if Remus was bold enough to come up to me again.

And it turned out that he was, but at that time I was already way too prepared for every kind of meeting that I felt like I was about to fight off a whole clan of dragons. Not that he made the impression on me for being big, strong and dangerous as a huge dragon, quite the opposite actually, but it would certainly goad me more.

I decided to give him a good chance to take contact in an easy way, but of course I had my own victory in mind. When I had finished my lunch quickly, which I always did because I did not eat much, I got up and began to walk to the door slowly, and as I had expected him to do, he came up to me when I had come halfway.

"Hey, Raine", he said panting slightly, and I just glanced at him but began to tactically slow down my pace.

"How are you today?", he continued, not letting my attitude ruin this for him.

"Why do you even bother? You've already got it cleared out for you that I'm a _bitch_", I said, looking straight at him. I noticed we began to get a small audience, presented by the students who were sitting close to us.

"I never said you were", he defended himself and I chuckled bitterly.

"Well I know you think I am even if you don't say it out loud as your friends does."

"I think you're only acting, that you're a different person on the inside."

"Oh, that-", I began, but then I realized what he had actually said. No guy had ever said that to me and for a moment, just a short second, it felt like it was _so_ spot on how I was behaving. The next second I remembered he had made me loose my mean answer _again_, and then I was very sure he was completely wrong.

"What did you want to say?", he said, sounding very friendly and even smiling a little.

"That's not the first time someone tries that one on me, and let me tell you; it doesn't work. Because A, you're definitely not the one to judge me and tell me who I am, and B, you need to seriously stop with your tries to get me to like you. I don't like you, not even as a _friend, _much less as something more than that. I mean, look at yourself! Can you honestly see yourself with _me_?"

I knew very well that I had increased my voice more and more during the time I talked. That may have been the reason why I heard many more reactions than what I had expected. All the girls sighed and mumbled to their friends, and the boys laughed or whistled encouraging. I on the other hand, just stood there in front of a person, who was extremely talented at hiding his true emotions, and just glared at him with my icy blue eyes. I often gave the impression of a stone wall; strong, cold and above all, not caring about anything or anyone. But at this moment, for the first time, I did not feel like I was completely honest, but I would never dream of showing that. And when Remus just turned around, without not even outing a single word or expression, obviously really hurt by what I had just said, I felt a light thrill of remorse going through my body.

* * *

I barely remembered the afternoon that came after when we had Defence against the dark arts, though I was not really there mentally. Sam was crazy next to me, because she was desperately trying to find our lost, and for the moment invisible, demiguise, from which we were supposed to collect hair so that the whole class could make an invisible cloak out of it.

"For Merlin's sake, Raine! Are you brain-dead?", she shouted at me angrily as she hopped around in the classroom, casting a colour change charm that turned everything blue, apart from our demiguise of course. I blinked a few times trying to clear my eyes, and for a moment I thought I saw something running down under a table and I quickly grabbed my wand and cast a freezing charm at the unknown object. When I a few seconds later realized that it looked more like the toe of a shoe than anything else in the whole world, I already had Valerie wanting to kill me for freezing Matt just when he was about to catch their demiguise. _My bad._

When the lesson was finally over I had gotten myself homework for not performing anything worthy, but only causing trouble to my classmates. I was supposed to write an essay about those damn demiguises and the deadline was at midnight. As I walked to the library a storm consisting of all the bad words and curses that I ever had thought of ruled my mind. This was entirely _his_ fault, all of it. But at the same time I was glad that I did not get detention.

I walked into the library and began to search over the huge shelves for any kind of book that would contain information about the demiguise that I had not already read in 'Fantastic Beasts and where to find them'. I wanted to make an exceptional essay that would surprise even Professor Trimble because it was so well written. But after almost two hours of constant searching and muttering about those stupid creatures I could not see anything else than labels in vertical which I was no longer even able to read. It was about time I swallowed my pride and asked someone for help. I searched around for another student that looked smart enough to know the answer. Asking Madam Merlon was not an option though I would be stuck with her for the rest of the night. She was very passionate about her books and always told one or two things more than necessary.

I rounded one shelf to look at the other side of it to see if there was someone there, and luckily, another student stood with his back against me at the other end and I sighed with relief as I hurried forward towards him.

"Er, sorry for interrupting, but could you maybe help me with finding a book?", I asked the back, trying to be as polite as possible for the biggest chance to get help. I was so desperate to find that damn book that I did not realize until it was too late who this back belonged to, or maybe I had still been blind by the two hour label reading. Remus turned around with a surprised but ready-to-help-a-woman-in-need expression, but that changed fast to the opposite the moment his eyes met mine.

"Are you serious?", he asked, and as a surprise, _or maybe not_, he did sound a bit irritated.

"I'm-… Er… S-sorry…", I stuttered as I took a few small steps back and felt like a really small person. There was something about him that made me feel very unsure about myself, and also, he was the first person I had ever made an honest apology to, even if this apology was not for the worst things I had done to him.

"So tell me what, now when your friends and unwilling audience aren't around, you don't have to try to impress them by being mean to someone?", he asked me with his now toneless voice. His words hit me with much more force than I had expected and it took so much of me to fight back the emotions that followed and stay cool. When I had remained control over my body and mind I looked straight at him again.

"I told you I was sorry, okay? What more do you want?"

"Nothing! You were the one who came up to me now, remember? I tried to get to know you, but you're just to busy acting like someone you're supposed to be in front of everybody that you don't have time over for anything else."

"You're terribly sure about something you don't even have a single clue about." I crossed my arms stubbornly and he chuckled bitterly.

"Well how can I not be? You're like an open book, Raine! And not exactly the first teenager in the world who thinks they're better than anyone else just because they have rich or pureblood parents", he said and turned around to pick out a book from the shelf. I felt slightly offended by what he had said, but deeply inside I knew very well that he was right.

"It's not my fault that my parents are both pureblood _and_ rich."

"It is as much your fault that your parents are both as it is my fault mine are not rich and that my mother is a muggle", he said and shrugged before he began to browse the book he was holding. "You see, that doesn't matter for how we're supposed to behave, what matters is what's inside us. Only there we can find our true selves."

That was deep. I could not even find out an answer to that from the beginning because he was so incredibly precise. Oh Merlin, this guy was intelligent, and not just intelligent because he probably had all correct answers on every test or straight O's in all subjects, _but really smart_. I was glad I did not do the fish thing with my mouth again when I just stood there and stared at him with admiration. When he looked up at me again I woke up from my trance and blinked a few times.

"Here you go", he said and handled me the book. I took it, feeling very surprised and looked down on the page he had left it open on. In that chapter you could find everything you would ever want to know about demiguises.

"How did you…?", I began and glanced up at him as he chuckled.

"I've heard your grumpy mutterings about them the past couple of hours, so I figured you could use some help. I just wanted you to ask for it first", he said and suddenly he looked a bit superior.

"Oh, _you_!", I said and was about to hit him but just could not do it because I was so relieved about the whole situation. I had finally got the book I needed and in some kind of way sorted things out with the person I had humiliated in front of everyone who wanted to know at Hogwarts. Because to be honest, I did feel bad about it, and did regret it more and more as the time went on.

Remus laughed lightly at me before he spoke. "Well, you're welcome. You want help with your essay too?"

"Thanks, but I think I'll manage to do at least that on my own", I said and felt how the corners of my mouth began to twitch.

"You sure? I'm quite interested in magical creatures, and have read that book several times…", he teased, pointing at the book and forced me to finally give him a smile.

"Oh, _fine_!", I said and he chuckled and showed me the way to the nearest table.

We sat down next to each other and he began to pick out the most important information about the demiguise. The way he presented the information, in perfect sentences, made me not able to come up with anything better and in the end, it was like he had written the whole essay with my hands. I finally put down my quill I looked up and his eyes caught mine. Of course I had never noticed that his eye colour was hazel; a fine mix between brown and light green. And sitting this close to him, I did not only see the scars that came across his whole face, but also what was hidden behind them. Though he was pale, his prominent cheekbones and perfectly shaped eyes, nose and lips made him actually quite beautiful.

"If you're going to be angry about me only putting my own name on this, even if you were the one who actually wrote it, I just want to remind you that this was all your idea", I mumbled, still a bit mesmerized by… I was not entirely sure what.

"I'm not angry, just glad to help", he said with a smile and leaned back at his chair and came a little bit further away from me. That made me get a firm grip of reality again and I looked down at the full parchment.

"Er… Yeah, thanks… _Again_", I said as I rose from my chair and began to put all my stuff into my small bag.

"No problem", he said, not moving from where he sat. I took that as if he was going to stay here a bit longer and turned around to walk to the door, but stopped, not entirely sure what to do or not to do.

"Er, I guess I'm supposed to say good bye now, so… Good bye!", I said and made a small wave with my hand and Remus just laughed at me.

"Bye, Raine", he said with his soft and warm voice, a sound I was, _totally against my own will but still_, beginning to like more and more.

On my way out from the library a girl from Gryffindor, Lily Evans, hurried to get to the other side of the huge room but stumbled on the edge of a carpet and half of the pile of books she held in her arms fell and hit the floor. I bent down and helped her to pick them up and staple them on her arms.

"Oh, god, thank you so much. Life's hopeless when you're in 7th grade. No spare time, only study, study and more study!", she said and tossed her head to make her red hair get out of the way.

"Yeah, well you're welcome, and good luck with your studying", I said and we smiled at each other before I continued out through the door. I was feeling extremely happy; it had been a long, long time since I had ever been in such good mood. And then it came up to me with the same horror as if I had felt the smell of a troll in a meadow full of flowers; _what the hell had happened to me_?


End file.
